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If you can't join 'em...

by Lindsey McCormack
Premier Issue

Perhaps you can't cough up a cool million or claim the senatorial pedigree that would get your kid "hooked" into Harvard. No matter--from Golden's extensive reporting, 02138 has distilled a well-supported, if perhaps unfortunate, set of guidelines on how to game an admissions system that swoons for super-prosperous families.

Create a financial track record. Donate early and often to your child's prep school - Harvard will take this as a predictor of future largesse. Then make sure your child's college counselor mentions the "generous support" you've given to the school in her letter of recommendation - $5,000, for instance, is enough to make you a "patron" at Phillips Academy.

Hustle your friends. You may not have the assets to join the COUR, but fundraising prowess can also earn you a spot in this high-powered circle. Be prepared for endless rounds of golf and dinner parties; consider planting a fundraising thermometer on your front lawn, a la United Way.

Hold family squash hour. For good measure, hire a sailing instructor as well. Major donors back these and other elite Golden illustration 2 sports - rowing, lacrosse, fencing and their coaches have the clout to recruit even halfway-decent players.

Socialize strategically. Invite your classmate in the admissions office for Thanksgiving; the Harvard College admissions staff does not recuse itself from evaluating family friends.

Shake your family tree. A prestigious relative (presidents and royalty are good) can give an application extra luster. So can having a rich - and generous - aunt or uncle.

Grease the skids, but not the palms. A surprising number of applicants' families have tried outright bribery - offers of free cars, houses, vacations - and it always backfires. Bill Fitzsimmons isn't "Duke" Cunningham, for God's sake.