www.02138mag.com
by
Sean McManus
September / October 2007
Not all of Harvard's most influential alumni actually, well, exist. Here are 10 alums who are bound to live on in American Culture.
[1
Jenny
Cavilleri
Teacher
College A.B. 1970
Home Base New York, NY
Précis Worked as a private-school teacher to help put her husband through law school; launched a generation of girls named Jennifer.
Work in Progress Although technically dead, Cavilleri continues to shape romantic notions of marriage in Cantabrigian society: Her motto that "Love means never having to say you're sorry" has sparked countless simmering resentments.
[2
Thurston
Howell III
Survivor, Billionaire
HBS MBA
Home Base Gilligan's Island
Précis The head of Howell Industries has amassed corporate assets ranging from concrete to chemicals. Forbes puts his fortune at $5.7 billion.
Cash and Carry Howell mingles freely with the common people on the Pacific isle he calls home. He brings a suitcase full of money even when embarking on a three-hour boat ride.
[3
Russ
Cargill
Head of the EPA
HBS MBA
Home Base Springfield
Précis When Springfield’s pollution problem threatens to contaminate the entire nation, President Schwarzenegger turns to Cargill for solutions
Plan of Attack Cargill's parting words: "There's a couple of things they don't teach you at Harvard Business School: One is how to cope with defeat, the other is how to handle a shotgun."
[4
Charles
Foster Kane
Former Publishing Magnate, Would-be Politician.
CollegeExpelled
Home Base "Xanadu," FL
Précis Kane patterned his life after William Randolph Hearst and published the New York Inquirer.
Work in Progress Married a U.S. president’s niece to get into politics, but was thwarted when an embarrassing affair was exposed.
If at First Kane was expelled from Harvard, Princeton, Yale, and Cornell.
[5
Dr. Frasier
Crane
Psychiatrist, Radio Host
College A.B. 1976
Home Base Seattle, WA
Précis Beginning his career as a psychiatrist in Boston, Crane eventually landed in Seattle as a popular radio psychiatrist. While there, he treated many of the city’s neuroses, though never seeming to cure his own.
Work in Progress Headed for Chicago to pursue a woman.
Oh, Brother Crane's brother, Niles, who attended Yale and Cambridge, has a higher IQ.
[6
Ron
Hunter
Lt. Commander, U.S. Navy
College A.B.
Home Base U.S.S. Alabama
Précis During a standoff with the Russians after the Cold War, Hunter took control of his submarine and prevented worldwide nuclear annihilation.
Work in Progress As commander of a nuclear sub, Hunter is on perpetual active duty.
Guiding PrincipleThe real enemy is war itself.
[7
Charles W.
Kingsfield, Jr.
Prof., Harvard Law School
HLS J.D.
Home Base 02138
Précis Kingsfield has trained students to "think like a lawyer" since 1970.
Work in Progress Not retiring.
Father Knows Best Kingsfield once summoned a student to the front of the class, handed him a dime, and told him to call his mother to report that her son had little chance of becoming a lawyer.
[8
Josh
Lyman
Deputy Chief of Staff
College A.B. 1983
Home Base D.C.
Précis Lyman wielded clout in the White House.
Work in Progress When Josiah Bartlet's term ended, Lyman signed on with Rep. Matt Santos, Bartlet's eventual replacement.
Epithetic C.J. Cregg called Lyman an "elitist, Harvard, fascist, missed- the-dean's- list-two-semesters -in-a-row, Yankee jackass."
[9
Lt. Jg. Daniel
Kaffee
Attorney
HLS J.D.
Home Base D.C.
Précis Assigned to what originally seemed a no-win case, this JAG son of a former attorney general uncovered a military conspiracy.
Work in Progress Considered a candidate to follow in his father's stead and become a reform-minded attorney general.
Hobbies Softball, snappy dialogue with newspaper vendors.
[10
Ari
Gold
Hollywood Agent
College A.B. 1988
Home Base L.A., baby
Précis Gold gets what his clients want.
Work in Progress Buzz over Medellin, along with sought-after client Vincent Chase, is resuscitating Gold's once almost terminal business
Soft Sell When Gold brags, "Harvard College, Michigan Law, baby," he soft-sells; he earned a joint J.D./MBA from Michigan.
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