www.02138mag.com
by
Jody Kelman
Winter 2007
On Dr. 90210, the E! TV network's hit reality show, a Kennedy School alum and plastic surgeon makes you wish implants came with a hit of cyanide—for the doctor.
A quick synopsis, in case you’ve been wasting your evenings on Proust: Four plastic surgeons, including Robert Rey, run around Beverly Hills telling exotic dancers, new moms, and the occasional charity case how much better they’d look with bigger breasts or flatter stomachs. Episodes range from the oddly fascinating (a cleft palate repair) to the farcical (Rey and a stripper debate implant size).
It’s high drama at its lowest.
“While the term ‘Renaissance man’ is frequently overused, Dr. Rey is the rare individual to whom this might apply,” his website bio proclaims. He’s a fitness whiz! We watch the tae kwon do black belt berate his wife, Hayley, when she doesn’t set up his home gym properly. He’s a fashion plate! We cringe as he struts around his office in master-of-the-universe-era pinstripe suits. He’s a scholar! We gape as he travels to Venezuela (sans family) to find out what exactly makes women there so beautiful.
The Brazilian-born polymath also moonlights as a motivational speaker and “wellness and lifestyle expert.” His new three-part DVD series, Rey’s Anatomy: The Sensual Body, offers advice on plastic surgery decisions, starting with the basics—boob jobs are volume one. He hopes eventually to run for Congress.
Meanwhile, Internet message boards buzz with questions about Hayley. Is she happy? Anorexic? The 88-pound blond had never considered plastic surgery until she met Rey, who performed her breast-augmentation procedure. As she told Marie Claire, “He won’t admit it, but Robert is more attracted to me now. He buys me tiny tops, and when patients ask to see his work in person, he calls me into the office.”
Where’d we put that cyanide?
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